Chopping off my locks

It's been over 2 years since I've cut my hair. My son is now 3 months old and my hair is starting to fall out. It's been getting on my nerves since it's so long. It gets in the way when I sleep and my 1.5 year old likes to pull it. Sometimes, I put my elbow on the ends of it and try to get up... ouch!

So... I've decided it was time to chop it off. It's so long that I can donate it too. The last time I chopped this much off, I donated it to Locks of Love.

I always worry when cutting my hair because I would secretly cry after. I never found someone that understood what I really wanted. I don't cut my hair often but when I do, I don't want to come home crying and regretting it... this was how it was all my life. I tried the expensive salons where I ended up paying over $40 for my hair cut. I've gone to the cheap salons up and down Stockton Blvd in Sacramento & know that I'm getting what I pay for but I still go...

When I decided to cut my hair 2 years ago (and it was just about this long), I decided to go to GiGi who I went to school with but we were never close. She was always so nice though :)

Anyway, I loved how she cut my hair.. so of course, I went back to Studio G to get my haircut this time... and I'm loving it! 

Now, my hair isn't in my way & I had 21 inches of hair to donate!

Here's me in March 2012 (I guess it was longer!)

 

Fun Day At The Park

We stopped by this park near the river today to let the boys burn some energy. I happen to have my camera and wanted to practice. 

Connor sure loved the swing!

This photo just made me laugh out loud because I felt the "fun" he was having. Lots of giggling too. 

Then they wanted to go see the river. 

They were too close to the "edge" for my comfort. But he loved watching the boats. 

Heading back down with the help of his big brother. 

There were Dandelions everywhere!

He tried really hard to blow it like his brother!

Daddy got to hold baby (often rare). 

Auntie was there too!

Essential Oils Vaporizer

I started using essential oils when I had Bell's Palsy. I've never really been big into natural health remedies. If there's a drug out there for my colds, I'm all over it! 

I use Tea Tree Oil & Lemongrass oil for my DIY Baby Wipes... it smells so good.

When I had Bell's Palsy, it felt like the doctor's couldn't help me. For the first time, I felt so frustrated because they didn't know how people get Bell's Palsy. There were theories but they admit that no one really knows... So I was given steroids and antibiotics (I was 17 weeks pregnant so I was not happy). 

Anyway, the web turned me to Essential Oil (People who've had it, recommended it). I had some from earlier this year but I plan to collect more! They're pricey so it will take a long time to stock up lol I buy NOW brand because it's more in my budget.

Fast forward.. I wanted something to diffuse my oils for this cold my family has caught. So after reading many reviews and seeing that a lot of EO users recommend this one on their blogs, I bought the Green Air Vaporizer on eBay (it was slightly cheaper than Amazon).

When I received it, I LOVED it. WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG!?! :)

It's easy to use and clean. It changes to pretty colors and I love the sound of it as I sleep. It's quiet but makes a little soothing sound (I'm a light sleeper).

My boys are fascinated with the changing colors and vapors. I may have to buy more!


Update: Well, being new to using EOs, I started to do more research and there are oils such as Peppermint & Eucalyptus that are not safe for young children. SO... I won't be using these around my kids but just thought I'd share that. Like with any medications, herbs, etc. it's probably best to check for safety uses for children!

Why I blog

Why do I blog? I'm not a writer. In fact, English was my 2nd language and I hated English class... Especially writing assignments! So as you read my posts, don't mind all the incorrect grammars and spelling... Incomplete sentences, etc. 

I blog because I want to keep track of my life. My family's life. I want to keep track of all the DIY projects... This is my diary or journal. I guess you can call it that. I used to write things down on a word doc but I couldn't access it whenever I wanted to!

My family is part of the thousands of immigrants from Southeast Asia who came to America in the 80s for a better life. In fact during my adult life, I discovered that I was born in a refugee camp! I guess we never talked about the past.. I always imagined I was born in a village. 

Anyway, there's no real record of my family history and although I don't plan to blog about everything, I'd like to keep track of some things such as our family camp trips :). We camp religiously every year and I want to document that for my boys. 

I have an obsession with DIY projects. When I was little, I remember watching my dad make a lot of different things from building a bunk bed for my sister and I to weaving baskets out of plastic strips (I can't remember what the materials were). Anyway, I remember watching him in awe and thinking to myself, this is so cool! I hope I can learn how to make my own things when I get older!

And then there's my passion for photography. Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be an artist. I loved making things & draw/paint and creating pieces of art (in many forms). Then there's the art of photography. Remember now, when I was growing up, digital photography was not so big yet. My family owned a 35mm Cannon camera and we couldn't afford to buy a lot of film. We didn't even own a computer. That wasn't around either! Wow, am I just a dinosaur? Haha. When I got my first point and shoot camera, I was so excited. I took TONS of pictures (I still do) of everything. I didn't realize it then but I already had an eye for composition. I was really picky about my photos and how in focus they are, exposure, etc. Anyway, taking photos for my blog helps me practice on my photography. 

So now, I've learned so much about photography (and still learning) and I'm always behind the camera especially since I now have 3 little boys and I plan to document their lives through photography. I look back at my life and it almost feels like I don't have any memories. No photos. Most of what I think I remember feels like it might have been a dream (luckily some of my siblings confirm my memories are in fact real). 

Anyway, I LOVE Pinterest. I remember saving recipes and DIY projects on my web browsers "favorites" but then if I needed to access it outside of my home, I couldn't. Then Pinterest happened! I can save all the links in one place? AND I can access it on my phone, anywhere??? Hallelujah! 

Sadly, I work full time so when I return to work (from maternity leave) I won't have as much time to do... Anything! Boooo!

Bell's Palsy Update - 7 Months

I'm not sure what "day" it is but it's been 7 months and although I'm fine physically, I still feel soreness in my face. I don't really notice it until there's pressure such as when I wash my face or graze it moving my hair off my face... Yes. Even light pressure causes soreness. 

I ended up with a C-Section at 34 weeks.  The pain seemed worse after delivery. I spoke to my OB about the soreness and she said because I went through major surgery, it got worse. I'm not quite sure she knows what she's talking about only because when I first saw her about my condition, she admitted that she didn't know much about Bell's Palsy. *sigh* She said it will get better. It was almost like when a someone tells you a sad story and you don't know what to say and it seems that the comforting thing to say is "It will get better". Maybe it's just what we hope for... For things to get better. 

Anyway, that was a couple of months ago and it hasn't gotten better. In fact, I think my eye feels funny too. Well, at least it didn't get worse. For some reason, I think this is the best it will get. This will be the long term effects I have from it. 

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 97

Okay, the only reason I'm doing another update is because I had a routine dental appointment yesterday. Apparently my face is more sore than I thought. As they touched my lips and cleaned and poke around in there, I felt the soreness more than I have in weeks. It wasn't painful, just very uncomfortable.

I wonder if the soreness will every go away :( 
I also wonder if all the sensitivity have anything to do with my pregnancy.

Well, I'll find out sooner or later....

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 89

So another month later... and the changes are really, really subtle. It's hard to see my old (normal) face when my overall face is different (and ever changing) from the extra weight I've gained during this pregnancy.


I'm able to rinse vigorously now without squirting so I do have more muscle control on my lips. My "kissy lips" still looks bad (to me) but it's not like I walk around looking like that haha


The one thing I still notice is pain in my face. This only happens when I apply pressure to it such as applying lotion or touching it firmly.


This is probably my last update since I pretty much feel normal.

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 64

Day 64... I smile at myself and I don't feel normal :(

A lot of people say that I look great and that they can't tell that i've ever had Bell's Palsy but I just don't see myself when I smile in the mirror.

Is it because i'm chubbier from the pregnancy? Or is because my smile doesn't look the same? Maybe it's a bit of both!

I don't notice it anymore either except when my baby puts his head on my face and I can still feel a little soreness. If I don't touch it, I don't notice it.

The other day I was eating at In & Out and I went to rinse my mouth. I've forgotten in that moment that I have been cautiously rinsing my mouth to avoid squirting out any water... so I started to rinse vigorously and let's just say, water squirted everywhere!

The physical changes haven't changed much in my eyes or it's very subtle.

Here's a photo of me before I had the Bell's Palsy with my son being silly...

Here are some photos from today... My smile is still a little off. :( 

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 42

I got super excited when I started to see improvement in the muscles in my face. Now... 2 weeks later and the changes are subtle. I just want my smile back :(

The good news is I feel "normal" again (kind of). I guess that's the most important thing. 

My eyes are no longer bothering me.

I can control the water while gargling and not spit all over the place.

I am eating normally again.

The only thing is my physical appearance. My smile isn't completely normal. I don't look at myself or see myself as others do but when I do see myself in the mirror, I still don't see me (before Bell's Palsy).

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 28

The muscles have been moving more each day. 
I can actually make a smile now (a little one).
Strangely I'm starting to feel the same numbness and pain I did when I first started having symptoms. It's almost like I'm going backwards in my symptoms. So, hopefully that means that it will be completely healed... soon.
My eyes are getting better too. It almost shuts completely when I close my eyes. I noticed my eyes are less dry and I use less of my artificial tears drops. I continue to use the ointment at night while sleeping. I've been able to close enough that I don't use it in the shower and I have no problems with shampoo in my eyes! whew! That was painful.
My lips still doesn't function 100%. It feels like it's the last muscles to come back. Everything else seems to come back sooner and healing faster. I still need to pinch the corners of my lips when I gargle after brushing my teeth. I do notice if I carefully gargle (very gently) I can keep the water in my mouth but of course, the point of gargling is to vigorously gargle. Then the water starts squirting out as usual.


My husband always got a kick out of my creepy eye that didn't close in the beginning!

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 22

There's exciting changes! Over the weekend (It's Thursday today), I started to see slight improvement in my facial movements! I do my exercises in front of a mirror including trying to blink my right eye (good eye) and then the left. When I tried to move the left side, it often just stares back at me with no movement. 

5 days ago... While doing the exercises, my left eye moved a little when I tried to blink it. It was really more of a twitch but I kept doing it and it would move. My eyebrows and lips still didn't move and my "nose wiggle" had no affect on my left side on Saturday. 

Over the next couple of days, the muscles started to move more while doing my exercises... 

Today, I can raise my left eyebrow to where my husband notices the movement (he didn't on the first day it started moving). 

I can blink my left eye halfway. That's pretty good improvement in 5 days.

There's movement when I wiggle my nose.

The corner of my lips tries to go up while smiling. Even that, is an improvement!

My face is no longer sore, a big plus!

Eating has also improved although I still can't eat things I love like a giant burger! I still chew carefully and on the working side of my mouth. Drinking is also still a little challenging...

Even though i'm using my eye drops less and my eyes close half way, my eyes are still very dry and it's hard to see when driving. I try not to drive unless I absolutely have to.

I still apply ointment to my eyes at night. I no longer use the Palsy Patch because it just doesn't hold my eyelids down well. I make an effort to tape my eye closed but it's never a success. My husband helps me while i'm already laying down. This seems to help my eyes stay shut. I think when I wake in the middle of the night to tend to my 15 month baby, my left eye would open because it does have more muscle control now. I get so irritated that I end up ripping it off. Okay, I don't actually rip it off. I carefully remove it without taking any layers of skin, eyebrow or eye lashes off!

I don't know if this is the beginning of a speedy recovery or just the beginning of a slow recovery. After reading all the stories online, I really thought this would last at least 6 months if not longer... So i'm grateful that i see some improvements.

I probably shouldn't have worn my glasses in the pics on left side. As you can see though, my eye brows go up in the below pic when I widen my eyes! It's hard to tell in the smile photo but there's a crease near my nose and my lips do actually go slightly up....

Pucker up!

Excited about a smirk

From my 20 week maternity photo

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 14

It's been about 2 weeks and I keep hoping to see signs of my facial muscles coming back but no, nothing has really improved except the pain on my face.


I've learned to adjust to eating and drinking by now. I have to eat small bite sizes and drink slowly which is probably what I should do anyway since I tend to inhale my foods. It seems that when I'm eating I feel the restrictions of my facial muscles the most. Maybe it's because we use a lot of facial muscles while eating.


I have been wearing the palsy patch at night. This product was made by a guy who had Bell's Palsy and was not happy with taping his eye shut at night. I was desperate and wanted to see if it works. When it arrived, I was disappointed because the elastic felt cheap and it was not adjustable. I think it's too big for me. The patch piece is thick and I was having trouble fitting it on my face. I've watched his instructional YouTube video but it just doesn't seem to work well for me. The second night was better. Although I'm not completely satisfied with the patch, it beats taping my eye which I absolutely hated! I'm now thinking about a DIY project for making a similar patch. One that might fit me better.


The good news is I've figured a way to take a shower without excruciating pain from water/shampoo/face wash getting into my eyes. For the past 2 weeks, even with my eyes held shut, water would get in and it would hurt. I mean burning, my eyes are on fire kind of HURT. Yes, water does this.... so imagine when it was time to shampoo my hair! The other problem I have is allergies so my eyes would get so irritated from allergies as well. Last night, after spending some time outdoors taking photos of my 3 year old son on Earth Day (the clouds were absolutely gorgeous). I used the overnight ointment before I showered because my eyes were just so irritated. I noticed while I was showering that my eyes were not burning and hurting from the water! I was so excited! For the first time in 2 weeks, I was pain free in the shower! yay! I then applied a little bit of ointment in my eye again before using a allergy relief eye drop and it didn't burn or sting! I tried using the allergy eye drops the night before without the ointment and I almost died. Naturally the drops would burn your eyes a little but with mine being so irritated from Bell's Palsy it was REALLY painful. I'm starting to think this ointment is a miracle worker LOL! about half an our later my eye was no longer red or itchy. What a relief!


I started using different nerve generating essential oils such as Helichrysum & Frankincense. I'm also using peppermint, lemongrass and lavender. I don't know if the oils are helping but my face isn't as sore as it was last week. Trying to massage it at first was soooooo painful. My face was so tender. Now, I can tolerate the massage and even use a little more pressure. I started to get headaches again but it's still not as intense as it was right before I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. The left side of my face is breaking out. I'm breaking out like crazy. Maybe the pores are constantly open and exposed to more dirt and yucky stuff!

Bell's Palsy

I was brushing my teeth and started to rinse. Water just shot out of the side of my mouth! I stopped and looked in the mirror and rinsed again. The same thing happened. What the heck is going on? I smiled. Both corners of my lips went up. Okay, i'm okay. But soon I found out I was not okay and that the symptoms would get worse and I was on the way to the hospital because I think i'm having a stroke & all I can think about is my baby. I'm 17 weeks pregnant. If I die now, my baby won't survive outside the womb. My boys won't have a mother. My husband will be alone...Then I hear my husband's voice saying "you'll be fine honey" and I snap back to reality. My thoughts have taken me to a dark place. Here's my story:

Monday: It started on a Monday and I was at work. Right around midday, I started feeling some tension on my neck and shoulders. I think I've worked through my lunch. I ate lunch and noticed the pain worsened. I took a couple of Tylenol's that I had to dig for in boxes because I was on the verge of relocating to a different office (who am I kidding? it's a cubicle lol). The Tylenol didn't help. 6 hours later, I took another dose. That night, it hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. No matter what I did to try and relieve it, it just kept hurting. It was unlike any other headache I've had. I posted what i'm feeling on Facebook. Why not? I got responses from friends who thought maybe it's a sinus infection or ear infection (sometimes the pain felt like it was inside my ears).

Tuesday: I get up to brush my teeth and my tongue feels numb. I would describe it as having dental work and after the numbness goes away, you can start feeling your mouth again but it still feels tingly. I thought, hmm.. that's strange. It was very subtle. I made an appointment to see my doctor. She examined me and said my ears look good and that aside from the inflammation in my nose from allergies, there's no signs of a sinus infection. She suggested using hot/cold compress, massage, nasal rinse and continue the Tylenol. And so I did all these things.

Wednesday: I brushed my teeth before going to get an hour massage (I haven't had a professional massage in over 10 years). While brushing, I noticed my tongue felt more numb. This was when I first noticed I was having trouble rinsing. At this point I had already discontinued the Tylenol (it really did nothing for relief) since taking my 3am dose. The massage didn't help. I called the doctor again. They wanted me to come in so I left work but they decided, I should just go in to labor and deliver after trying Tylenol with Codeine. I picked up the Tylenol/Codeine and took a dose.  After a short nap, I still felt the pain. It was not as intense but still almost unbearable. In fact, everything was so loud all of a sudden. The kids crying or screaming would echo and bounce around in my head. This is something I have gotten used to but is now driving me insane because it feels like someone turned the volume all the way up in my head!

While brushing my teeth at night, water started to squirt out the left side of my mouth. I smiled and both corners of my mouth went up. I did this because I thought I was having a stroke. I then puckered my lips and my left side wouldn't pucker. I ran to my husband and showed it to him and he said that it was strange too and that i'm not crazy because all I can say was "Am I crazy? Is something wrong with my lips?" He also mentioned that I was slurring a little. I called labor and delivery to let them know I was coming in. I helped put the kids to bed first and left for the hospital at 10pm. 

The doctor listened to my story and asked a few questions and in the end gave me Tylenol with caffeine (Fioricet). The doctor said they think i'm experiencing some type of migraine and the slight numbness can happen with migraines but it shouldn't get worse and will go away soon. Amazingly for the first time, the meds started to relieve my head pain. I figured they were right. It's just a bad migraine and went home anticipating picking up prescriptions the next morning.

Thursday: I woke up and planned to pick up the Fioricet when the pharmacy opens. When I brushed my teeth, more water started to come out the left side of my mouth and now my smile... it definitely was not normal. My left lip didn't move. Suddenly I felt more numb on the left side of my face (same side as the head pain). I kept staring at myself thinking that i'm having a stroke. I noticed when I blinked, my left eye didn't always blink all the way or blinked a little slower. I winked at myself. First my right eye which was normal and then my left eye. The left eye wouldn't close all the way. It only went down half way. I called my husband and told him he needed to drive me to the hospital. I didn't think it was safe for me to drive myself.

After being evaluated by a doctor and a neurologist, I was told that I had Bell's Palsy. What the heck is that? I had questions. Lots of questions. How did this happen? How long will it last? Will it get worse? I had a chance to browse around online for some answers (we were in the hospital for 8 hours). All I could find was the same thing the doctors told me. No one knows how it happens. They think it's a result from a viral cold or something that I may already have in the past such as chicken pox or herpes. They asked about colds and colds sores (bumps on my lips) and I don't have those things nor have I been sick. They asked about my vertigo that happened a few weeks ago and my vacation to Doran Beach right before the vertigo. They also said that it's not uncommon for pregnant women to develop Bell's Palsy at this stage of pregnancy. 

For one thing, I was glad it wasn't a stroke but I was still concerned. During my stay, my eyes got worse. The left side won't blink at all. I tried to eat lunch and food kept falling out and drinking water meant I have to pinch the left sides of the lips so I can suck on a straw.

Friday: I started medication but doctors say I won't see results right away as they don't know how long it takes to "get back to normal". All they know is the combination of Prednisone and Acyclovir seems to help Bell's Palsy patients. 

At the hospital: 

My eyes droop. My lips and mouth doesn't move (all in the left side). There are certain letters I can't say correctly so my speech is slurred. My eyes are irritated. Really irritated. I need artificial tears every 1-2 hours and an overnight ointment to protect my cornea. My ear must be out of whack too because noises are louder on that side. Every time I laugh I look like Two Face in Batman (The Dark Knight 2008). 

So now everything is just unknown. Friends who've had it said theirs lasted a couple of months. I read blogs where women had it for longer. Some still see some of the effects long after it's gone such as drooping of the eyes and slurred speech. Most women say extreme stress is what they think lead to their Bell's Palsy. 

Since I've returned to work full time in August, I've felt more stressed in my career than I have in the past (it was already quite stressful). I came back from my last maternity leave in a new office (cubicle), in a new environment and what seems like more and more work. 

Overall, I'm grateful I'm alive. I tend to think the worst (and I wonder why I'm so stressed). I'm hopeful it will pass (sooner than later) and I need to focused on the my 3rd baby boy due to arrive in September. Right now, the important thing is I stay stress free and healthy for my kids, my family, & my unborn baby...

I smile and laugh a lot but if I don't now, I look mean. 

If I do smile, I look a little crazy.

I made an eye patch to help protect my eyes. See the tutorial here. 

Here's me "smiling" with the patch. My son says I'm a pirate. ARGH!

Selfies in car (staying away from outdoor draft)

Bell's Palsy Update - Day 8

It is day 8 since being diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. I've completed the Prednisone (steroids) and the Acyclovir yesterday. So far, there's no improvement. At times I feel like it's a little worse each day. It's hard to tell. There is no significant changes that I've noticed.

My face has gotten so sore that applying lotion is painful. I felt subtle soreness for a couple if days feeling worse each day. It's painful when I brush my fingers across my face to get hair off my face. I cannot sleep in my left side because it is so sore. Forget about massaging it because I don't even want to touch it! I have tried Tylenol and warm compress without relief. I need to purchase peppermint oil and try rubbing that on my neck and behind the ears. I read that helps. 

My left eye still don't blink correctly and has become extremely dry. I've purchased generic GenTeal gel drops and there's no significant difference to the artificial tears the doctor's prescribed. Las night was the first night I had to tape my eyes shut since it started to sting and get dry. I'm assuming my eyes are not shut completely at night even though I  am sleeping.


When I blink slowly getting the left side to close, you see my eyeball roll to the middle upper corner. It looks creepy. I took a video of myself on my iPhone and watched it. Like I said, creepy. I see the way my husband looks at me. I know he's adjusting to it too but he has been very supportive and tries to say the right things (which is not easy for him lol).


Showering is very challenging. It took a couple of nights to remember to hold my eye lids shut after painful stings from my face wash and shampoo. Even with it held down, the dryness from the water makes it every uncomfortable.


My mouth on the left side still has no muscle movement. Smiling or laughing looks silly. Eating large things that require me to open wide such as burgers are not a good idea. I tried to have In-N-Out yesterday and basically ripped apart my burger. :( the Fries were fine though :) I've gotten used to pinching the left side while drinking from a straw or rinsing after brushing my teeth. I need to hold that side open to floss.


Driving has also been challenging. Any exposure to air causes extreme dryness to my eye and my vision is poor. Having the left side blurry and sometimes fuzzy, makes it hard to see out of the right eye. Covering the left side with a patch feels like losing 70-80% vision instead of half.


I am fortunate that my employer allows me to work from home. I received a desktop computer and set up an office in my living room to work. This eliminates the need for me to drive to work and also exposed to the drafty air conditioning at work. I went in a few days ago to get work and the desktop and the tiniest draft was irritating my eyes. Having a 24" monitor allows me to increase font size in my email and documents so that I can still see it even though it's still fuzzy.


I talk a lot and lately I just don't want to. I slur and it's frustrating trying to talk especially to my 3 year old chatter box son who is now having a hard time understanding me. I lose patience a little faster because I can't get my words to come out right.

Wide eyes (only one side goes up)

My smile (with eyes wide open)

Pucker up!